Learning to Laugh: Journey with Cancer
Disclaimer: THIS IS A LONG POST, but I think it is worth reading! Thanks.

I have recently been spending a lot of time contemplating my experience with cancer. For those of you who don’t know, I am a 5-year colon cancer survivor. I may reserve a post for a later date to retell the story of my diagnosis, but tonight I want to focus specifically on the humor that helped me survive. I have recently had a few experiences that reminded me that the humor has to be carried with me the rest of my life if I want to make it through the issues I continue to face due to my battle 5 years ago.

As I reflect back I remember specifically the wonderful friend and nurse who told me jokes in the bathroom after my surgery to make me laugh so that I didn’t have to have the catheter put back in my bladder. I was actually glad t

o pee I was laughing so hard that day! I also remember sitting in the waiting room for Chemo to start and having to fill out a survey about my emotional state and what I was feeling. I was doing Chemo… think about it! But my mom sat with me and made it so funny that we were laughing so hard it was inappropriate! I got so many NASTY looks that day from people that didn’t realize I was there because I was a patient. It was totally worth it though because now my mom and I have some really great inside jokes! Another learning moment was just a few months after my diagnosis and I was at a friend’s home for a party. We were playing Scatergories the game. Someone rolled the letter C. The card just so happened to have on the list… disease. That means that you have to name a disease that starts with the letter “C”. You even get double points for two words that sta

rt with C. I hadn’t had the diagnosis long and I knew everyone in the room was still concerned about offending me, so what did I do? I took the double points and wrote down colon cancer! 2 points baby for taking advantage of my friends’ attempts at sensitivity! What saps. ;)

I can name so many more instances where people around me either helped me laugh, or learned to laugh with me. However, recently as I have continued to deal with the issues that are caused by the treatments I received 5 years ago, it has become harder to laugh. I have asked myself over and over again, “When is this going to end?” “When is enough enough?” Well, I had a moment a few weeks ago where I didn’t laugh. In fact, I couldn’t even retell the story without wanting to cry. I wondered what had changed. Why is it that I can no longer laugh? I decided that this is why I need to share the story. I

need to be able to laugh about it. I need to be able to look back and say, “That was hella funny!” Mostly because it really is hysterical the more I think about it and determine that laughing about is better than letting it bring me down, so without further adieu…

The Journey at Delicate Arch

Josh and I recently went camping in Moab. We decided that we were much in need of unplugging and enjoying just each other for a whole week! We had a blast. I loved being able to spend all that time with my husband and only him. On one of our last days there we spent the day perusing the shops and having a great time watching the rain! We decided that we would hike Delicate Arch that night so that we could see the sunset there. We had read that was the best time to go. Before heading up there,

we stopped at one of our favorite restaurants in town, Pasta Jay’s. Oh man! It was delish! I had a Pesto and Gnocchi dish that was to die for! It was really heavy though so we were looking forward to hiking it off. Now this is the moment in my story when people that know me start to think, “Oh no! This is not going to be good.” For those of you who don’t know me… this is the time when you should be thinking, “Oh no! This is not going to be good.” You may wonder why. If you are wondering why then you either don’t know much about food you generally eat when camping, or you just don’t know what a colon cancer survivor’s digestive system is like. The food we had been eating was mild; sandwiches, cereal, hobo dinners, etc. Pasta Jay’s does not fall under that same category. Just keep that in mind.

When we arrived at the arch, the sun was just starting to lower and we were excited that we would be able to witness such beauti

ful creations. As we hiked up towards the arch, Josh and I both made several comments about the fact that we are totally out of shape and even stopped a few times to slow down and take a drink of water. As we were nearing the summit, it started, a low rumble about my midsection. This is when I really was starting to think, “Oh no!” We were 1.5 miles away from the car. I figured though that since we had gotten that far, I would continue on and get to the top. After all the rumblings were only at my midsection. When we reached the top, it was beautiful! We were planning on waiting up there to see the sunset and we had just decided to take a picture when it happened. “Oh no!” had just turned into “Oh S**T!” I turned to Josh and gave him that unmistakable look of panic that says that we have to go NOW! With out arguing my loving husband headed down the mountain. We made it about a quarter of a mile down the mountain and I realized that I just wasn’t going to make it. If any of you have ever hiked Delicate Arch you know that it is a mostly barren t

rail that has few hiding places. Well, I had to make do! I have to say though… squatting so close to the trail that you can still see the people walking by is really awkward! I think you can all get the gist of what happened next without gruesome detail. Don’t worry though it gets worse. I squatted there for a few minutes ensuring that it was safe to move on and it hit me… That was when “Oh S**T!” Turned into “#%^*&@&%$!!” I looked around and realized my only option was this:

I turned to my loving husband and presented the dilemma… This I believe is proof that my husband truly loves me. He offered his sock. I was mortified at the idea of using HIS sock! I slowly bent further and grudgingly untied my shoe. I really liked those socks, but now it is a part of nature, returning to its roots. Well, I determined that it was safe to move on and we began our decent off the mountain once more. I wish at this point I could say that was the end of the story, I wish I could even say that my other sock survived the climb down the mountain, but alas. Neither is true. Thankfully my husband is a patient and loving person who doesn’t judge.

We made it off the mountain just in time. I say just in time because if it had been any further, Josh would have had to give up a sock. Thank goodness for porta potties.

Well, I hope that I have been able to make you laugh. I don’t think I do enough of it. I am hoping that this note to myself will remind me of the need to laugh at moments like that.